On This Day 1.31.17

On This Day in 1901, Anton Chekov’s play, Three Sisters Premiered, introducing the famous concept of Chekov’s Sister. This being that, if a Sister is introduced in the first act, she must be fired by the third act because she keeps asking for equal pay.

On This Day in 1905, A Napier was the first car to go over 100 MPH. It was being thrown by an actual giant at the time, but it still counts.

On This Day in 1936, The Green Hornet made its radio debut. A young Seth Rogan was like “Imma ruin that.”

On This Day 1.30.17

On This Day in 1969, The Beatles gave their last public performance on the roof of their Apple Corps headquarters. Ringo wanted to do all covers, but John talked him out of it.

 

Paul was going to do a version of “I Can’t Go For That” by Hall and Oates anyway, but chickened out at the last minute when he couldn’t remember the chord progressions.

 

George said “Only if I can wear the green pants.” And he fucking did.

 

On This Day in 2005, a buffalo escaped from an auction and ended up in a Grand Rapids department store dressing room where it spent a couple of hours staring into a mirror. This is all true.

On This Day 1.27.17

On This Day in history the concepts of joy, whaleshark and sugar coalesced to become @coyotitude, whose birthday today is.

Born on this day was 1756 was Wolfgang “Rock Me” Amadeus Mozart, the Mick Jagger of his time.

On This Day in 1926, The first public demonstration of a true TV was given in London by John Baird. The broadcast was the first episode of The Shield.

Because we needed a champion, Patton Oswalt was born On This Day in 1969.

On This Day in 2006, Western Union sent its last telegram. The contents? A detailed description of the last episode of The Shield.

On This Day 1.26.17

On This Day in 1788, the first settlers, including 717 convicts, arrived at Sydney, Australia. AND THEN HUGH JACKMAN HAPPENED.

On This Day in 1827, Peru seceded from Columbia due to Guinea Pig based disagreements.

On This Day in 1979, The Dukes of Hazzard made its television debut, forever popularizing short shorts, Jumping cars and James Best.

On This Day 1.25.17

On This Day in 1870, the S.S. City of Boston disappeared, inspiring the musical, Brigadoon, in which a city disappears and a bunch of people sing about it.

On This Day in 1909, Elecktra premiered at the Dresden Royal Opera House. In attendance that night was Frank Miller and Matt Murdock. They both had similar ideas

On This Day in 1915, the first transcontinental telephone call was made between Alexander Graham Bell and Dr. Thomas A. Watson. Elementary! said Bell. Come on, man. Said Watson.

On This Day in 1983, the infrared astronomical satellite launched into orbit by US Weekly to gather information on distant stars doing normal stuff, just like us!

On This Day 1.24.17

On This Day in 1888, Typewriter “Copy” Ribbon was patented by Jacob L. Wortman when he was trying to develop a new kind of bow tie that would ruin your shirt.

On This Day in 1925, a moving picture of a solar eclipse was taken from a dirigible over Long Island, NY. FROM A FUCKING DIRIGIBLE! THEY FILMED A SOLAR ECLIPSE FROM A FUCKING AIRSHIP!

On This Day in 1981, an otter entertained crowds all winter at the mouth of the Ompompanoosuc River in Norwich Vermont. He did a tight 25 minutes of standup, then sang the full version of Ava Maria.

On This Day 1.23.17

On This Day in 1849, the Envelope Machine was Patented. Before this, you had to grow your envelopes from Post-its and nightsoil.

On This Day in 1922, Leonard Thompson received the worlds first successful insulin injection. Up until that point they had just been throwing it at him in his sleep.

On This Day in 1943, Duke Ellington played at New York City’s Carnegie Hall for the first time. He started the show by shouting “You aint heard nothing yet.” a subtle Fuck You to his old nemesis, Al Jolson. No one got it.

On This Day in 1960, the Bathyscaphe Trieste dove a record-breaking 35,800 feet into a breathtakingly deep pool of custard.

On This Day 1.19.17

On This Day in 1840, explorer Charles Wilkes claimed discovery of Antarctica. What he actually discovered was just a real cold part of his house, but people humored him.

Born On This Day in 1946 was Dolly Parton, because god loves us and wants us to be happy.

Butter Avatar and noted intolerance enthusiast Paula Deen was born On This Day in 1947

On This Day 1.18.17

On This Day in 1562, the play entitled Gorboduc, written by Thomas Norton and Thomas Sackville, was presented before Queen Elizabeth 1. It was the first real English tragedy, mainly due to Norton’s overwrought dialogue and terrible acting.

 

On This Day in 1644, two lights formed a manlike shape and arose out of the water in Boston. This is a true thing I found. It was just this sentence with NO EXPLANATION.

 

On This Day in 1911, Eugene Ely proved that planes could land safely on ships by shouting about it for 4 hours, then throwing hot dogs at a sleeping duck.

 

On This Day in 1996, a 221-pound striped marlin was caught vacationing near Red Hill, Hawaii. CIting stresses with work, the fish was reportedly trying to “Start on that novel I’ve been putting off and just really find myself.

On This Day 1.17.17

On This Day in 1706, noted Statesman, inventor and turkey enthusiast Benjamin Franklin was born. He loved plants, baths and getting hit by lightning.

On This Day in 1966, Simon and Gerfunkel, the “Dark Wizards of Folk,” released their album, “Sounds of Silence.”

On This Day in 1871, Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car system. I’m sorry, HBO car system.

On This Day in 1985. British Telecom announced the retirement of Britain’s Red Telephone boxes. Doctor Who was quoted as saying “Whew, that was close.” Superman could not be reached for comment.